Archive for Women Power

Mama Mary and My Mother

Today is the birthday of Mama Mary, the mother of Our Saviour Jesus Christ. The readings and gospel today never mentioned anything about the birth or the celebration of her birthday. But the whole Catholic Church is celebrating her birthday this day and I am not in the position to neither question the real date of her birth nor dig the roots as to who really knows when Mama Mary was born. My strong Catholic devotion assumes the sacredness of the Church teachings that questioning the truthfulness or falsity of what was taught in my religion class is out of my mind.

 

Unlike the other feasts celebrated in the Catholic Church, Mama Mary’s birthday need not be celebrated with a grandiose party –  contrary to my three-year old nephew’s belief that they should buy a cake, sing a birthday song and then make a wish before the candle is blown for Mama Mary’s birthday. My two sisters, niece, daughter and I celebrated her birthday in an extraordinary way, that is, by visiting my mother’s gravesite – weird but meaningful.

 Our mother may not have been like Mama Mary- in fact different in all aspects, but her sacrifices in raising raise her seven children is nothing more like to what Mama Mary went through. My mother endured relentlessly to give us all our needs, although we were not provided with all our wants, and had to sacrifice and forego her own material desires just to provide the necessities of her seven growing children. The virtues instilled and the values formed in our young minds were greatly credited to the disciplinary psyche of our mother who wished us all to be good persons. The image of Mama Mary constantly reminds me of the agonies, sacrifices, and hurts suffered by my strong-willed mother who, despite of it all, never showed her emotional distress to her children. The problems she encountered while battling the difficult life of raising a big family made her stronger and more mature. Every inch of complicated situation was faced with much dignity that made her stand tall with head high up, and such gave her the strength to face-off whatever problems that came her way. Her might was tested in the battlefield for many times and had won many of those including the most difficult battles of all, that is, having saved her own matrimony which was once had been attempted to be destroyed by a woman’s evil mind. Our mother’s ability to be triumphant over life’s complicatedness significantly enriched our minds not to be afraid of whatever tribulations that will come our way.

 

 

 

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Survival Tips From My Mother

My mother, whose name was Irenea, was a small woman with a big heart.  She barely stood an inch or two below five feet but her spirits were majestically higher than her own height. She never stood small in her daily battle against the financial complexity brought about by the inverse proportion of meager income earned and number of mouths fed. She conquered all obstacles in life without the least hint of giving up. She taught us how to face the difficult reality and survive poverty.

 

We learned to laugh and cry at the storms and hurricanes, ups and downs, and roses and thorns of our life. We learned to make people believe that we were not financially hard-up and, good thing, they looked up at us as wealthy.

 

My mother was tough and physically active. There were no idle moments for her especially when she was younger.  The petite body never hindered her from doing manly activities like cutting the firewoods using an ax, climbing the rooftop of our house to fix the typhoon-damaged roof, and making a chicken “house” out of scrap – and we all “inherited that talent”, may I correct, my elder sister outdone my mother’s manliness for she not only climbed the roof but dared to scale up the lanky coconut trees in our backyard. My mother probably would have survived if she was lost somewhere in the middle of the Amazon jungle. That’s why we called her Amazona.

 

 

The most important phase our life was our growing up years. Many did not know what our family went through. When we were younger, striving to live each day was a struggle we brawled together with our parents. We had never had the comfort and luxuries in life – no television even. To pass away time, mostly during summer, we just ran off to the beach or climbed up the guava tree in our backyard.  We became contented with the basic necessities for we didn’t have other options anyway.

 

In a way, the intricate experiences we went through gave us some useful tips on how to continue to exist during difficult times. These real-life experiences helped in molding us to become what we are now and these are my extraordinary saving graces for my own family.

 

 

Never discuss financial problems in public. My mother reminded us to be always discreet with our financial status. She, most often than not, never allowed us to let others know with respect to our monetary problems. It was unavoidable, though, especially when we were made to bring the “trademarked” one-eight sheet of intermediate paper-  with “Good For” as the heading and my mother’s signature (sometimes forged by my sisters  whose golden hands can replicate of signature of my mother) as the closing, to the Man Bening – the bakery owner who allowed us to purchase on credit breads, some of our favorites were pan de carne, pan de leche, and ilang-ilang, or to Man Erie or Mana Lucy- the meat vendors who gave us a kilo credit  limit of meat.

 

Look and feel decent even if you only have a single cent in your pocket, and even if that money can only afford you to buy a stick of banana cue for lunch, just savor its sweetness for it will definitely help you energize.

 

Learn to recycle. We learned to recycle our food – we concocted a variety of new menu out of our leftover viands, vegetable and rice. Whatever was left from our previous day’s banquet was re – cooked into a new food and, literally, there was nothing left for the dogs to eat. Our dresses were recycled too – the long and outmoded dresses  given by our Aunt in the United States were cut and re-sewn by my mother, despite her inadequate sewing skills, to give it a new look.  Her favorite and only style of dress for all of us girls was a gartered on the waist balloon skirt with matching spaghetti-strapped blouse. Our school bags and notebooks were never spared from recycling. The unwritten pages from our notebooks, from the previous year, were compiled to make one or two new notebooks.

 

Never add mouths to feed. My mother neither employed maids nor encouraged relatives to live with/work for us – she believed they were plainly extra mouths to feed. All of us in the family were involved in doing the household chores, the young girls did the cleaning of the house, my elder sister and my mother did the washing of our clothes and the boys did other stuffs outside of the house. This does not mean however that we did this as our routine activities. Sometimes the girls worked the manly stuff when the boys were all away and the vice versa. For that, all of us learned how to cook and bake food – both for humans and the pigs, wash the dishes, sew our own clothes, clean up our mess and the whole house, and grown plants.

 

Plant. We had lots of fruit bearing trees, vegetables and other ornamental plants surrounding our house. Aside from harvesting and eating fresh fruits and vegetables, we were able to save, and even earn, money. My elder bothers were even made to sell coconuts when our finances run out.

 

Pray. We were taught to pray for guidance and more blessings but were not taught to rely purely on prayers. Prayers must be coupled with actions.

 

Poverty was our passport to get a college diploma – we were made to believe, rather forced to believe, that education was the only way to be freed from poverty. All of us seven children managed to get a college degree, and majority of us pursued post graduate degrees, even if going to college was a bumpy ride.

 

My mother may not have the chance to read this article anymore, for she has been dead for more than a year now. Had she read this, she would have had a hearty laugh and I am a hundred percent sure, we would have a day-long reminiscing of the past conversation.

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